Illustrations
by Heatherlly
Summary: A series of drabbles exploring Loki's definitive moments in Thor, The Avengers, and Thor: The Dark World. Just an experiment to see how well I capture his character before I decide whether or not I'd like to write something longer.
1. Suspicion

**Fandom:** Marvel Films  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 335

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**Suspicion**

Loki's first impression of the barren wasteland of Jotunheim was that it was freezing. That came as no surprise, of course; the shock was in finding himself unaffected by the harsh climate. He felt warm, perfectly comfortable… well, as comfortable as anyone could be while on the verge of confronting a horde of angry Frost Giants.

Meanwhile, his companions said not a word about the frigid temperature, but it was apparent in the way Sif wrapped her arms around herself when she thought no one was looking, there in the slight tremble of Thor's body, an involuntary reaction that had nothing to do with fear. They were affected while he was not… but why?

Absurd for his thoughts to be consumed by such an inconsequential matter, particularly under such perilous circumstances. Nonetheless, Loki couldn't help himself. Even during the confrontation with Laufey, when life or death rested in the balance, the mystery tickled at the edges of his consciousness, almost as if he already knew the answer but simply couldn't put a name to it.

Suddenly, it hit him: _Magic_. Of course! That made perfect sense. And even better, it seemed that for once, the powers bestowed upon him by his mother provided a distinct advantage over Thor's brute strength. Relieved and admittedly a touch gratified by the thought, he nearly smiled as his brother responded to a particularly cold gust of wind with a noticeable shiver.

But then the smile faded before it could ever touch his lips, for what swiftly followed was a peculiar glance from Laufey that had nothing to do with magic. A handful of special powers couldn't explain away the cryptic remarks that shook him to his core, nor could it justify the feeling that should he survive this day, his life would never be the same.

It was there on that frigid breeze, whispers of a fate as yet unknown… a destiny that Loki wasn't quite sure he was ready to face.


	2. Adoration

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 394

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**Adoration**

A familiar, sinister voice reveled in Thor's shame, murmuring of the limitless possibility that was suddenly within Loki's grasp. Oh yes, the change was palpable, unmistakable in the hot fury in their father's eyes as he raged at his favorite son. And it was there in Loki's own weak protest, one he knew to be futile before it ever escaped his lips.

_Let it happen,_ the voice urged, the softest of whispers compared with Odin's furious shout. _Be silent… this is for the best._

How many times had he longed for a chance like this, a shining moment where he might step out of Thor's seemingly impenetrable shadow and claim the admiration that should've been his? For how many years had he dreamed of an opportunity to prove his worth, to show Asgard that he'd make a fine ruler… far better than his brash, unthinking brother?

_Let it happen._

Silently, Loki watched the tragic scene unfold, refusing to ask himself whether pleas for clemency would make a difference. Why should it matter that Thor's eyes, much like his own, were filled with tears when he was cast into the void? And why did Loki have to bite back a final protest that sprung to his lips, or wonder how his brother was supposed to survive such a brutal blow?

Banished. Friendless. Stripped of all his powers? These things should be of no consequence… not when Thor's downfall opened a clear path to Loki's own ambition.

But it wasn't a throne Loki pictured in the aftermath, nor even the glorious vision of his future subjects prostrate before him. All he could see was his brother's eyes… helpless and terrified, like a wounded animal who suffers yet doesn't understand the reason for its pain. Those same eyes, once filled with innocence, laughter, warm affection… a gentle, trusting gaze that would never be directed at Loki again.

No, this was the only way, regrettable but necessary in order to shield Asgard from a king ruled by mindless arrogance and a foul temper. Thor had brought this punishment on himself… deserved worse, truth be told, considering how many lives he'd already put at risk. Loki should feel gratified… relieved… overjoyed.

But strangely enough, all he knew in that moment was that he'd forever feel the loss of those eyes.


	3. Curiosity

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 347

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**Curiosity**

Taking a deep breath, Loki crept toward The Casket of Ancient Winters, disregarding any thought of the consequences to follow. None of that mattered – for all that he was a master at deceiving others, he'd always possessed an insatiable hunger for the truth as it applied to himself.

Hunger? No... at the moment, it was much more than that – a wretched, starving thing that clawed at him from the inside until there were but two options open to him. Yes, he would either know the truth or be forced to surrender to a swift descent into madness.

The idea of handling the relic didn't frighten Loki. It was no threat to him as it would be to other Asgardians, wouldn't sap his strength or rob him of his magic. In retrospect, he hadn't needed to be touched by a Frost Giant to know that, nor to see the skin of his arm turn a sickly shade of blue. He'd always known he was different. The only change since Jotunheim was having a solid foundation from which to ask the questions that had been on the tip of his tongue for years beyond counting.

From the moment he touched it, The Casket of Ancient Winters felt right beneath his fingers, its unearthly glow beckoning him to discover all the secrets that lay within. _ Power,_ it whispered, in a cadence much like an icy wind whistling through barren trees. _ Your essence… your birthright…_

Loki might've been drawn in by those words, sweet and beguiling, were it not for the transformation that accompanied them. He recognized it this time, acknowledging the subtle pulse of energy that passed over his skin without needing to look down to see what color it was.

He felt the presence behind him, too; even Odin rarely had the ability to sneak up on Loki unawares. A hundred questions… a thousand… but suddenly, only one that seemed to matter as he turned to face the man he'd always believed to be his father.

"Am I cursed?"


	4. Heartbreak

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 352

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**Heartbreak**

"What am I?"

"You're my son."

Those were the words that hurt Loki most… the illusion, not the reality.

Learning he was the abandoned offspring of a Frost Giant? Well, that was hard to swallow. But confronting his real identity, however repugnant, was almost a relief compared to the nameless suspicions that had plagued him throughout his life. Certainly easier than dealing with Odin, who still insisted on speaking to him as a father while confirming the lie for what it was.

"You could've told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?"

Odin had wanted to protect Loki, or so he claimed. But every measure of "protection" now seemed like a needless act of cruelty. Magic to disguise Loki's appearance, ugly and vile in its natural state. Empty promises to placate a second son, never to be fulfilled when that "son" was merely the unwanted child of a despised enemy. And most of all, raising Loki in an environment where he was taught to react to his own kind – _himself_ – with hatred, fear, and disgust? Where was the "protection" in that?

Whatever Odin was, he wasn't a fool. He'd known that the truth would come out sooner or later. Indeed, he'd planned on revealing it himself someday, using Loki as an instrument to forge an alliance between the realms. With that much foresight, had he not considered how much Loki would suffer in the process, the adopted son he claimed to love? Or did the ends justify the means, one shattered heart being a small price to pay for lasting peace?

The old king believed compassion had prompted him to rescue the child of his nemesis, that mercy had led him to conceal the truth and raise him as his own. But whatever love he'd felt had been coupled with selfishness, ignoring countless ways he could've spared Loki at least some of the pain he was feeling now. How was it possible to forgive in the face of that?

It wasn't… especially when Odin never bothered to apologize.


	5. Pride

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K  
**Word Count:** 381

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**Pride**

"Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours."

At first, Loki could only stare at the man kneeling at his feet, frozen, almost hypnotized by the glittering spear that rested in his outstretched hands. Gungnir… how many times had he gazed at it in awe? A sacred thing, possessed of untold power, a weapon he'd not even been allowed to touch, much less dream of claiming for his own.

"The line of succession passes to you."

And that was another dream, a frail, distant hope that had been crushed to bits by the exposure of his true identity. But he wasn't really powerless, was he? Through his deception, Odin had granted him a certain birthright… one that in the end, couldn't be snatched away so easily. No, because Loki wouldn't allow it to be.

Still, he might have doubted himself were it not for the faith in Frigga's eyes. Unlike Odin, her intentions were pure, her love given without a hint of reservation. He believed every word she said simply because she did… because he was desperate for reassurance… because he hungered to prove he was worthy, much more so than the adopted brother who'd always taken kingship for granted.

Holding his breath, he reached out and took Gungnir in his hands, nearly gasping in awestruck pleasure as the power fairly thrummed through his body. Yes, this was exactly as it should be. Soon, they would all understand just how wrong they'd been to discount him in favor of Thor. He would be a great king, strict but fair, exhibiting wisdom and forethought in all his words and deeds. Then they would see what he was capable of, eyes shining with admiration and the deepest respect… almost, but not quite managing to disguise their underlying shame.

And from one more than any other, that reflection would heal a lifetime of pain and violated trust. To have Odin look at him that way just once would put the sins of the past to rest, allowing for the forgiveness that deep down, Loki longed for above all other things.

"Make your father proud," Frigga whispered, with that uncanny way she had of sensing the direction of his thoughts.

Yes… that was exactly what he intended to do.


	6. Contempt

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 369

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**Contempt**

"You can bring your urgent matter to me… your king."

Sif and the Warriors Three looked dumbfounded as they went down on their knees. Loki could've forgiven that… after all, even he was still stunned to find himself in his current position. But though their bowed heads insisted otherwise, there was no respect in their eyes, none of the reverence that should now be his by right. That could not be disregarded so easily.

"My king," Sif said after a moment, in a voice that was positively dripping with false humility. "We would ask that you end Thor's banishment."

Oh, that was rich. Despite everything, they still thought the arrogant fool deserved to sit on the throne of Asgard? Not only that, but they had the audacity to suggest that Loki supplant _himself_ in the process? For surely that was the goal here – far from simply missing their old friend, they wanted to see him restored to the birthright he'd always taken for granted. And once again, they thought Loki was just going to step aside and let that happen.

Upon that thought, he was assaulted by a hundred memories – dismissive looks and careless jests, his brother's name on everyone's lips as the hero, even though neither Thor or the idiots kneeling in front of him would've survived without the help of Loki's "silly little magic tricks." They'd treated him like some lesser being, his wit and intelligence of no consequence compared with their brute strength. And until now, he'd had no choice but to accept it.

"My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather's last." His refusal was given with a great deal of relish, though he tried not to sound _too_ smug as he stared down into their horrified faces. That was followed by some pretty words about Asgard being on the brink of war, and the people needing a sense of continuity to feel safe… all of which he meant, of course. But in the end, nothing felt as good as being able to order them out of his sight.

After all, he was their king now… and they had no choice but to accept it.


	7. Denial

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 247

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**Denial**

It was a harsh action to take. Even Loki couldn't pretend that it wasn't.

Alas, there was no choice but to visit Midgard and inform Thor that their father was dead… followed by the unfortunate necessity of telling him that their mother had forbidden his return. Soon enough, his brother was openly weeping, apologizing in a choked voice, even thanking Loki for coming. Poor, simpleminded Thor. There was so much pain in his eyes that Loki hesitated, searching for an alternative to the lies that had sprung from his lips. He couldn't allow Thor to return to Asgard, of course… but was it necessary to be so brutal?

Yes. Yes, it was.

Yes… Loki was king now. He couldn't allow his sympathies to affect his judgment. And in the long run, this was for the best… for the realm, perhaps even for Thor himself once he'd come to terms with his grief and disappointment. A clean break was a mercy, the kindest thing Loki could've done under the circumstances.

In the days that followed, he'd cling to that belief whenever he remembered those blue eyes, bewildered and wet with tears. _Yes,_ his conscience would insist if he found himself missing the sound of his brother's boisterous laughter. _It was the only possible solution, and no more than Thor deserved._

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the last faint traces of guilt were silenced. After all, there was no point in regretting the unavoidable.


	8. Tenderness

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 394

* * *

**Tenderness**

"Loki, you saved him!"

In the wake of madness… peace.

This was the only place he felt it, clasped tight in his mother's embrace. As long as he was here, it didn't matter that he'd organized the attack that had nearly gotten Odin killed, only that he'd stopped it. He could sense her gratitude in the way she trembled in his arms, feel her love surrounding him without a trace of doubt or reservation.

Yes, whatever he'd done had been worth it just to be here, to be the hero she (if no one else) had always seen in him. Beloved Frigga. Perhaps not his mother in truth, but did it really matter?

In that single, perfect moment, Loki saw the future as it could be. Himself as the cherished son, the _only_ son, devoting his life to making both his parents proud, proving that he was indeed worthy of the throne that had come to him through a twist of fate. He could do it… indeed, wanted it desperately if for no other reason than to feel this warm glow of admiration and acceptance. Peace… perhaps that feeling could be permanent, not only found in fleeting moments like this.

"I swear to you, Mother," he promised with unquestionable sincerity, "that they will pay for what they've done here today."

Yes… for a single breath, the span of a heartbeat, the world was exactly as he wished it to be.

"_Loki!_"

And then the illusion was gone, smashed to bits by the last voice he wanted to hear. There was Thor, blue eyes blazing with fury… and there was Frigga, rushing to embrace her newly returned son with a cry of delight.

Cast back into the shadows, Loki felt the loss of her, deprived of warmth and solace like a frigid winter night descending to blot out the gentle afternoon sunshine. But no… he'd come too close… everything he'd ever wanted had been right there within his grasp. Vindication. Power. Love. And all of that without competition, free from the comparisons he'd endured throughout his life that had always found him lacking. He'd known what it was to come first, and deservedly so. Nobody could say he hadn't earned it.

And now that it was his, he had no intention of letting it go.


	9. Longing

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 392

* * *

**Longing**

So it had come to this – a crucial moment that seemed frozen in time. The deception had been exposed, resulting in a vicious battle of wills that had left both Thor and Loki clinging to the edge of the shattered Bifrost. With nothing else standing between him and oblivion, the one who'd been responsible for this chaos gazed up at his father, frightened and desperate for approval.

"I could've done it, Father! For you! For all of us!"

Odin stared down into his son's face, wondering how Loki could still look so innocent after everything he'd done. Despite all the centuries that had passed, his expression was exactly the same as that of the infant he'd once been. Begging for love, pleading for mercy, starved for the chance to prove his worth.

Had Odin rescued the child simply because he hoped to unite the realms someday? That was what he'd told himself when he'd decided to raise Loki as his own. But in truth, it had been the need in those eyes that had motivated him more than anything else, so blatant even when Loki had been far too young to know what it was he hungered for.

Unfortunately, that hunger had never been sated. Instead, it had grown into something bordering on madness, a ravenous appetite that threatened to devour them all. Was it Odin's fault? Had it been folly to hide the truth for so long, pride and affection leading him to make promises that could never be fulfilled? Or had Loki been doomed from the start by Laufey, irreparably damaged by the father who'd forsaken him?

In the end, these questions were pointless, having no effect on the final outcome. For like Laufey, Odin was about to turn his back on his son.

But Laufey's choice had been selfish, while Odin's was unavoidable. Loki was no longer a child who'd been cast out to die through no fault of his own. No, he was a grown man who'd endangered hundreds of innocent lives in his obsessive need for validation. This wasn't the time for forgiveness, to extend mercy or surrender to the love Odin still held in his heart for the boy.

No, this was the time for consequences… even if that meant destroying the last glimmer of hope in those pleading eyes.


	10. Fury

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** The Avengers  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 387

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**Fury**

They'd always underestimated him.

He'd seen that look on their faces when he'd fallen into the void. And although their grief had been gratifying on some level, it had also been an insult. Poor Loki, a feeble shadow compared with his glorious brother. How could he be expected to survive a headlong plummet through space?

Oh, but he had. Not that they'd bothered to look for him. Only Frigga had done that, as he'd known she would.

"It's not a good time to talk," he'd told her when she'd come to him in an illusion. Regrettable, but one day soon, she'd understand. As for Odin and Thor? Hang them both. Gone were the days of longing for their approval, forever hungering for a place of importance in their world. What was Asgard anyway? Just one realm, far more insignificant than he'd ever realized in the grand scheme of the universe.

Indeed, he could no longer regret his past failures. How else could he have found his way to this place? True, it was cold, barren, nowhere he'd like to stay for long. But it was also where he'd discovered the Chitauri, a legion of allies who'd soon be his to command.

That had been promised to him by The Other, a mighty army in exchange for the relic he'd agreed to retrieve from Midgard. He had only to deliver the Tesseract, a magnificent source of power which lent its strength to the mighty scepter he'd been gifted to help further his ends.

Soon enough, Loki would claim his place as the ruler of Midgard, a corrupted planet which knew nothing but warfare and bloodshed. Humanity would be under his control, finding him the soul of benevolence as long as they bent to his authority. He'd be their king, their peacemaker, their god… then and only then, Odin would see what he was truly capable of. Yes, and no doubt the old king would regret elevating the feebleminded Thor above the adopted son who'd proven himself a far better leader than his firstborn could ever hope to be.

Oh yes, the reckoning was at hand, the taste of triumph already sweet on Loki's tongue. This was his birthright, his destiny, his glorious purpose…

And this time? Oh, this time he would not fail.


	11. Euphoria

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** The Avengers  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 339

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**Euphoria**

The crowd of mortals fled before Loki like helpless animals, their world turned upside down by just the slightest hint of the power he possessed. Oh yes… this was his birthright, his glorious purpose, reflected back at him from hundreds of pairs of awestruck eyes. They didn't defy him, didn't question his authority as he brought them to a standstill. A simple command of, "kneel" and they were his for the taking.

"It is the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation…"

Loki held no contempt for their inferiority; he adored them for it. Weak, simple creatures that they were, they still recognized what the Asgardians had not. They saw him for what he truly was, understood that it was his inalienable right to lead and their place to obey without question. No trickery with these mortals, no unnecessary defiance. Only an almost palpable eagerness to show him the respect that was his due.

If that respect was born of terror, well, that was only natural. They were completely at his mercy and were smart enough to know it; they did not yet understand the glorious future he had planned for them. But soon… oh yes, soon they would discover the true nature of their ruler, would worship him as a benevolent god when he put an end to the chaos they created amongst themselves. No more war, no more greed or corruption… he would replace all that with an everlasting peace that would make humble Midgard the most glorious of all the nine realms.

He was practically drunk on that future triumph, filled with anticipation as he spoke to them of his grandiose plans. In that brief, shining moment, his world ceased to be what it was and became everything he'd always wanted it to be.

Of course, that feeling couldn't last… this battle was never meant to be won so easily. But for a handful of breaths, a few tremulous heartbeats, Loki knew what it was to taste perfection.


	12. Cruelty

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** The Avengers  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 249

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**Cruelty**

Loki didn't hate the woman… no more than the rest of the ragtag group who currently held him captive. Like them, she was a mere nuisance, only a momentary obstacle along the path to greatness. There was even something almost touching about her little tale of woe, her valiant attempt to hide her feelings as she pleaded for the life of one man when there was so much at stake.

And yet the vicious words came easily, threats falling from his lips with some strange determination followed by a great deal of relish. Her weaknesses, her secret shame and vulnerabilities… how effortless it was to exploit them. And though he wouldn't have done it without provocation, Loki craved the horrified expression he received in response, needed it with a desperation he didn't understand until that need was satisfied.

He didn't do it because he hated her. No, he didn't even do it out of any genuine wish to cause her harm.

He did it to salvage his pride, to avenge himself upon the puny mortals who had the audacity to mock him for his temporary disadvantage, believing they had him under their control. Yes, he vented his frustrations on her, the most convenient target, in an effort to chase away that humiliation, the fear in her eyes finally giving him the vindication he deserved.

Respect… that was all he wanted. And in the end, were respect and fear not one and the same?


	13. Uncertainty

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** The Avengers  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 356

* * *

**Uncertainty**

There wasn't supposed to be so much fire… so many explosions… so much death.

Oh, Loki had expected a little chaos. Indeed, what kind of takeover, benevolent or otherwise, would've been complete without it? But there was a difference between ruffling a few feathers and what was happening now. Widespread destruction. Mindless slaughter. Did the Chitauri not care that it was _his_ dominion they were laying waste to, that there would be nothing left if they continued with this savagery?

No, he realized with a sickening lurch in the pit of his stomach. They didn't.

"Look at this!" Thor shouted. "Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?"

No, it wouldn't. He could see that now. But was he going to admit that to Thor? Or worse, was he ready to face the consequences that lay in store for him, to reckon with yet another abysmal failure?

"It's too late," he said, with just the faintest edge of hopelessness in his voice. "It's too late to stop it."

"No. We can, together."

Even now, Thor honestly believed they still had a chance to make it right. That much was clear in his eyes… soft and sincere, no trace of resentment in that hopeful gaze. Fool. And yet despite it all, some part of Loki wanted nothing more than to surrender, to find some remnant of his shattered faith in that gentle conviction. To leave this all behind, to go back to the way it used to be…

Suddenly, he was assaulted by a thousand memories, recollections of love and laughter, safety and companionship, all shared with the man standing in front of him. No enemy at all, but his own brother, ally and champion. Yes, he might've surrendered, if the sun hadn't moved ever so slightly in its orbit, casting him into shadow. And then all that remained was emptiness… emptiness and some lingering sense of pride.

"Sentiment!" he snarled, plunging his dagger deep into Thor's midsection.

But was the accusation directed at his brother… or himself?  
Perhaps he'd never know.


	14. Humiliation

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 387

* * *

**Humiliation**

Thor didn't say a word as he turned Loki over to the guards. One meaningful look and they moved forward to restrain him, trussing him up like some ferocious beast. Pointless, really – if he'd wanted to put up a fight, it would've taken a lot more than ten of them to bring him under control.

Underestimated, as always. That's what it meant to be back in Asgard. Cast back into shadow, unable to enjoy the fragrance of autumn flowers on the breeze or the shimmering beauty of the palace spires. There was no comfort in this homecoming, no respite, no air to breathe that didn't reek with the stench of thwarted plans. Loki inhaled it greedily, bracing himself for the coming confrontation.

What happened on Midgard wasn't his fault. Surely even Odin must see that. Born to rule, with no kingdom to possess? What else was he supposed to do? It wasn't as if he'd _wanted_ to leave so much destruction in his wake. If he hadn't been forced to turn to the Chitauri … if Thor and his obnoxious friends hadn't gotten involved…

Just a few dozen paces, yet had the throne ever seemed so far away? Loki forced himself to press on, the clinking of his chains sharp and savage in the cavernous hall. He was the god of illusion, after all – he would face Odin's judgment with his head held high and dignity intact. Seemed easy enough… until he spotted her, the one person still capable of breaking through his defenses. Frigga, as beautiful as ever, the sorrow in her eyes threatening to bring him to his knees.

"Loki," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, emerging like a plea for mercy. And then he hated himself for what he'd done. Did it matter whose fault it was? For her sake, perhaps even more than his own, he'd wanted to be the conqueror, the hero, never a source of shame or disappointment.

Well, it was too late now. Nothing to do but suffer the consequences… disguise his pain as nonchalance while pretending she hadn't just broken his heart with a single look.

"Hello, Mother." He swallowed his bitterness before forcing his lips into an ironic smile. "Have I made you proud?"


	15. Compassion

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 400

* * *

**Compassion**

Frigga would come… but when?

In the beginning, it hardly seemed to matter. Loki was a god, after all, destined to live for thousands of years. What were a few days in the grand scheme of things? Why should a couple weeks be cause for concern? Not like he was going anywhere anytime soon.

But then the weeks turned into months and solitude began to creep into his bones. Loneliness, hardly noticeable when he'd first been imprisoned, became heavy, pervasive, like dense fog on a frigid winter morning. There was no escaping it, no warmth or comfort, nothing to distract him from the reality of his punishment. Odin really _did_ intend to leave him here to rot. But what about Frigga?

Her presence was all around him. She was responsible for the books he didn't read, the wine he hardly touched, the food he scarcely ate. Obviously she was still thinking about him, so why didn't she come? Was she waiting for a time when Odin wouldn't find out? Or had she turned her back on him, too, only providing a few comforts out of some lingering sense of obligation?

The thought was unbearable.

And then at long last, he turned around to find her standing behind him. Beloved Frigga… he should've known better than to doubt her. Everyone else, yes, but never her.

He didn't mean to lose his temper, hated that his relief was swallowed up by a wave of fury. Why lash out at her when he craved her presence more than anything short of his freedom? And yet there was nothing he could do to stop it.

_"He's not my father!"_

"And am I not your mother?"

Being stabbed in the gut would've hurt less than the expression on her face. Yet somewhere amidst his inner turmoil, Loki found something kind, something gentle, some small part of himself to which selfishness was a foreign concept. His response came from that place, from the painful realization that she'd be better off if she _didn't_ love him like a son… however much he needed her to.

"No," he said softly. "You're not."

She merely smiled, and he knew it was a lost cause. Should he feel guilty? Perhaps, but the moment had passed. Selfish or not, he had neither the strength or the desire to push her away.


	16. Torment

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 398

* * *

**Torment**

Why not just shove a dagger in Loki's gut while informing him that he was being stabbed? Notifying him of his mother's death was tantamount to the same thing. As if he didn't know. As if he hadn't felt it deep in his bones when the life had drained from her body. As if the world wasn't darker now, more desolate than he'd ever imagined it could be.

Still, he met the news with a brief nod, not betraying even a hint of emotion. Not like they'd care, so why give them the satisfaction of witnessing his pain? Why risk further damage to his pride, already battered and bruised after months of captivity?

Pride, after all, was the only thing he had left.

Wrapping the disguise around him like a blanket, Loki drew on his powers, desperate to keep his grief concealed. Using magic – _her_ magic – made it hurt all the more, but what did it matter? He could claw at the walls of his prison, scream in agony, and all they'd see was a mask of perfect composure.

Of course, they accepted it without question, assuming he was every bit as heartless as he pretended to be. All save one.

"Enough, Loki. No more illusions."

Why did he give in, immediately and without protest? To make Thor understand the consequences of his actions? After all, it was his fault she was dead.

_Is it?_ whispered an insidious voice. _Is it really, Loki? Was it not you who failed to send out a warning, you who told them where to go?_

There it was. He could hide his grief, but there was no escaping it. Not when it was standing right there, mirrored back at him through a pair of somber blue eyes. He knew that look, recognized the guilt that lay just beneath the sorrow. Here was the one person who _could_ understand what he was going through… the awful pain of a son who couldn't help feeling responsible for his mother's death.

Maybe it was Thor's fault. Maybe Loki only had himself to blame. For now though, it hardly mattered. He just didn't want to be alone anymore.

And so he dropped his shields, lifting his ravaged face to the man on the other side of the glass.

"Now you see me, brother."


	17. Regret

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 396

* * *

**Regret**

Loki would've done anything for a taste of freedom. If that meant working with Thor rather than facing off as bitter rivals, why not? Use him and be used in return. Sensible enough.

And yet this new alliance felt more natural than he'd anticipated. Why? Was he so starved for companionship that he could no longer tell the difference between friend and foe? Yes, that must be it. Maybe that also explained why their inevitable confrontation held none of its usual venom.

Obviously, Thor was at least partly to blame for their mother's death. He could've protected Frigga, could've released Loki so he could do the same. Did it matter? Thor was an incompetent fool, but it wasn't as if he'd _wanted_ her to die. No… try as he might, Loki couldn't direct the brunt of his fury at anyone but the monster who'd actually killed their mother.

"She wouldn't want us to fight."

"Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked." Unable to help himself, Loki smiled.

Thor's expression softened as a flood of memories passed silently between them, countless petty arguments ending in laughter and warm embraces. How much easier life had been when a simple apology had been enough to heal all wounds. Loki almost wished…

Thor gave him a sad look. "I wish I could trust you, brother."

And just like that, the illusion was shattered.

_Trust?_ What right did Thor have to talk about trust? When this was over, he'd go back to playing the hero, leaving Loki to rot in that accursed cell. Alone, imprisoned, with no one left to give a damn now that Frigga was gone. What would happen then? Could Loki _trust_ that Thor would lift a finger to help him once he'd gotten what he wanted?

In the end, perhaps it didn't matter. He wasn't doing this for Thor, not for Odin, not for the sake of the entire bloody realm. _Frigga._ She alone had earned his trust. Only for her had he ever wanted to be trustworthy in return. And while it might be too late to save her, he'd damn sure avenge her or die in the attempt.

No… Thor's maudlin sentiment could never be enough to hold him to his promise.  
Love, however, was another matter.

"Trust my rage," he whispered.


	18. Mercy

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 361

* * *

**Mercy**

Loki didn't have to save Jane. It would've been easy to strafe to the other side and let the Black Hole devour her, then tell Thor that it had all happened so fast, that there was nothing he could've done to prevent it.

But what would be the point of that? Jane was so small, so helpless, so _mortal_… pitiful, really. Where would be the pleasure in watching her die? She was no threat to him. Besides, pushing her out of the way afforded a perfect opportunity to win Thor's trust, a trust that was bound to come in useful sooner or later.

Yes, that was why he did it. There was more advantage in keeping her alive… or at least, it was easier to pretend that was the case. Far more difficult to admit that compassion, as strong as it was unexpected, was the real reason he'd risked his life to save hers. To face up to that would be to acknowledge his own weakness, leaving him open, vulnerable, susceptible to disappointments he didn't even want to think about, much less ever suffer through again.

His resolve held firm… right up until Thor was the one in mortal danger. No excusing it away this time, no fooling himself into believing practical reasons had anything to do with it. He couldn't watch his brother die, couldn't rationalize the rush of emotion that had him charging forward like an avenging angel. Without a second thought, he skewered Kurse like so much roasted meat, desperate to protect the man lying helpless on the ground.

No denying it now… despite everything, he'd never stopped loving Thor.

The realization knocked the breath from his body, making him cry out as he hit the ground with a bone jarring thud. Or was that in response to the blade that had been turned on him in the same moment, piercing him straight through the chest? He couldn't tell the difference, for both pains were excruciating.

And then there was no thought save one, emerging from his lips in a whisper that became more feeble with every incantation.

"I'm sorry…"


	19. Nostalgia

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Thor, Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 335

* * *

**Nostalgia**

"I'm sorry," Thor muttered, squeezing Loki's limp hand between his own. His grip was hard, almost brutal, unconsciously seeking to hurt his brother in the vain hope that he'd still be alive to feel it.

But no, there was no response. No warmth, no breath, no flicker of movement here in this hollow wasteland. Only silence, vast and terrible, accompanied by a frigid wind that pierced Thor straight through to the bone. He was so cold, colder than he'd ever been, as if the blood had been siphoned from his veins to be replaced by solid ice.

Numb with grief, it took him a moment to recognize the source of the plummeting temperature. It wasn't coming from the atmosphere, but from Loki himself. Blue hands, blue face… Jotun blue, the exact texture and hue of a Frost Giant. Harder than stone, colder than death itself.

Was he finally seeing the truth then? Even a few days ago, he might've thought so, might've believed his brother's soul was as pitiless and unyielding as his rigid skin. But no… he knew better now. Free from illusion, some aspects of Loki's appearance might be strange, but his expression was intimately familiar, hearkening back to a simpler time filled with love and laughter.

Jotun or not, _this_ was the Loki he remembered, long before their bitter rivalry had torn them apart. Free from hatred, features as gentle and earnest as a child's, the brother he'd cherished above all things… a bond so strong that in the end, nothing could destroy it. Not anger, not fear or betrayal, not even the mad ambition that had threatened to crush them both.

_"I'll tell Father what you did here today."_

_"I didn't do it for him,"_ Loki's last words echoed in his ears, as if whispered on the wind.

With tears turning to ice on his cheeks, Thor pulled the lifeless body to his chest for a final embrace.

"I know, brother. I know."


	20. Delight

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor: The Dark World  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 387

* * *

**Delight**

Loki didn't set out to deceive anyone.

He honestly believed he was dying, his apologies and words of regret perhaps the truest he'd ever spoken. Even when the magic stole through his veins, sustaining his breath, healing his wounds, he came perilously close to revealing the truth.

But what would happen if he did? Even if Odin knew what he'd done here today, where would that leave him? Would he still be imprisoned for his previous crimes? Or would it be back to life in the shadows, looked upon with suspicion or contempt when he was noticed at all?

The thought was unbearable.

And so he said nothing, not even when Thor left him for dead in such a barren wasteland. Suffering in silence as his body slowly repaired itself, he waited… until at last, he saw what he must do to return to Asgard.

Still, he wasn't thinking about taking the throne. Not yet. He just wanted to go home.

Only when he saw Odin again did that change. Odin, who'd robbed him of his dignity, his freedom, his birthright, the very truth of his existence… how could he reconcile himself with that? Perhaps Thor could be forgiven, at least for some things. But Odin? _Never_.

Was he wrong to seize the opportunity? No, of course not. Odin was useless… or would be when Loki was finished with him. And Thor no longer wanted the throne. What better way to serve the realm than offer himself as a worthy substitute?

Others might think him cold, heartless, treacherous beyond reason, but he knew better now. He'd protected the innocent, had nearly given his life to save another. And now that he was king, he could easily imprison Thor or take his powers. But did he? No. He was happy to set his brother free to live on Midgard, glad for the chance to prove himself merciful in doing so.

Shedding his disguise, Loki reclined on the throne with a small smile playing about his lips. Thor might be a fool, but perhaps that wasn't his fault. And after all, maybe dying for him wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world.

Still, taking his place as King of Asgard was a _far_ better alternative.


End file.
